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God you're not even trying I couldn't blame you for leaving us If I were you I wouldn't speak to us But sometimes in the sky I see a tear in your eye Oh God if I were you I'd be so sick of us I'd wash my hands of this damn populace Walk away in dismay and disgust If I were you I'd be so sick of us Copyright 1996 Steve Goodie ASCAP HEY SCOUT Hey Scout, I can't come out You're under my tree with your worry and doubt There's nothing I can do but let you go You know the ground gets cold under that tree You're barefoot and overalls, wondering about me, and I I just want to let you know I'm never that far away I'm watching you and your brother play I'm locked in my tower trying to kill the hours And I want to scream and shout I've been in here for so many years Hey Scout, I can't come out Hey Scout, you better watch out There's a house on fire and a big old drought I got a blanket for you, and a face I can't show I know the kids are cruel, and their parents are mad But it's gonna get good when it's done being bad, and I I just want to let you know I'm never that far away I'm sending you love in the tree every day I'm locked in my tower trying to kill the hours And I'm doing all right without If you come around here in a couple of years Hey Scout, I might come out Baby it's not time to worry yet Let's see how strong you can get I know you feel so small You're just scared, that's all It's your time, it's your life And if it's deathly dark And there's a man with a knife Remember I'm never that far away I'll carry Jem home to you any day I'm locked in my tower trying to kill the hours And I want to scream and shout When you come around here in a couple of years Hey Scout Hey Scout, I might come out Copyright 1997 Steve Goodie ASCAP PRETTY DAY Driving through a storm I learn to watch the signs Learn to take it slow Trying just to stay alive A man gets used to lousy weather A man forgets it can get better Which is why I don't know what to do With a pretty day, a pretty day like you So when the rain stops falling I don't see the sun Keep my eyes on the road And I leave the wipers on A man gets used to lousy weather A man forgets it can get better Which is why I don't know what to do With a pretty day, a pretty day like you Love storms in, and love storms out Clouds go on forever, and they wash me in doubt The weatherman, never can, protect me from the rain As I stumble from my shelter, tempting pain, once again Tempting pain once again Again A man gets used to lousy weather A man forgets it can get better And now I'll have to see what I can do With a pretty day, a pretty day like you Oh I'll try to let myself enjoy the view Of a pretty day, a pretty day come true You're a pretty day, a pretty day, it's true Copyright 1997 Steve Goodie ASCAP YER IN-BRED A parody of "Yer So Bad" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers My sister's new husband was also her cousin They found out when she gave birth Cause when chromosomes linger you get extra fingers It's natural selection in reverse So what, caused, these flaws Was it a lack, of, in-laws Oh yer in-bred One eyebrow across your head When kin-folk wed Yer in-bred My sister's new husband, well pretty soon he wasn't He split soon as he heard the news So she found her another, married our brother This family is so damn confused Cause some-thing's, wrong when You can count, to, eleven Oh yer in-bred One eyebrow across your head When kin-folk wed Yer in-bred Oh yer in-bred One eyebrow across your head When kin-folk wed Yer in-bred Copyright 1991 Steve Goodie ASCAP SO HAPPY TOGETHER A parody of "Happy Together" by The Turtles Imagine me and you, I often do I think about it day and night, this isn't right There's something that I meant to say, to say last night When we were together Me and you (and her) and her and me (and you) No matter how you toss the dice, the number's three I'm guilty of a crime that they, call bigamy Rebecca meet Heather I can't see me loving nobody but you, except my wife I'm not single but baby I really dig you, just like my wife Me and you (and her) and her and me (and you) I think it could be twice as nice, just wait and see The only ones for me are you (and her) and her for me (and you) So happy with either I can't see me loving nobody but you, except my wife She's open-minded, I think she'll really like you, put down that knife Me and you (and her) and her and me (and you) I think you're over-reacting dear, just let it be You know how nice a couple is, imagine three So happy together Me and you (and her) and her and me (and you) I think you'll both get used to it, eventually Just think of it as stereo, fidelity So happy together So happy together Are you into leather So happy together We're happy together So happy together So happy together So happy together So happy together So happy together Copyright 1989 Steve Goodie, Scott Mosenson, and Andy Hirsch ASCAP CHROMOSOME A parody of "Kodachrome" by Paul Simon When I think back on all the hair I had in high school I have to wonder how I lost it all So I looked it up, and it's maternally genetic Which means my mother's genes have made me bald Her chromosomes Made my head nice and shiny Made all my follicles so tiny Make me wear a baseball cap every damn day, oh yeah I got a nylon hairpiece Like no one would notice that Mama won't you take my chromosomes away So now I'm sitting watching Geraldo at 2 in the morning I know it's dumb but I just have to watch And then he brings out this doctor who says He has the cure for the follicly-challenged Turns out he transplants hair from the crotch It's better than a chromosome Now I feel good and I feel worldly Cause he re-attached all my little curlies Now I can throw this nasty baseball cap away, oh yeah This doctor is some kind of medical giant He's not just the president, he's a client Doctor came and took my chromosome away Doctor came and took my chromosome away Doctor came and took my chromosome away Doctor came and took my chromosome away Doctor came and took my chromosome Doctor came and took my chromosome Doctor came and took my chromosome away Doctor came and took my chromosome He moved my pubes to my chrome dome Doctor came and took my chromosome away Doctor came and took my chromosome Doctor came and took my chromosome away Okay

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